SATC IRL

 

 

What is this world of dating?

Potential profile drafts of a completely honest girl in Chicago;

Yes, it’d be awesome to fall in love and travel the world together and maybe adopt babies some day, but that’s not what I’m expecting.

I’m using this dating app as a distraction from an unrequited flame, so let’s just have fun until I leave the country again.

I am probably dtf if you’re tall and cute and charming. But if that’s all were gonna be, then let’s actually hook up more than once if it’s good. You’d make a great back burner.

If we start dating, I wanna go out and dance sometimes, go bowling, and go to nice dinners on occasion, but netflix and chilling is the ultimate goal. Its cliche for a reason.

Yes, I’m terrified you’ll be shorter than me, and I really appreciate knowing in advance how tall you are before we meet.

If we meet and it’s not a thing, can we hook each other up with our friends/acquaintances?

Please do not immediately tell me your sexual fetish, send me a dick pic, or really any picture without permission. I will feel out if I want to play and then you can decide to go with it or not.

Ask me out promptly if you really want to meet, otherwise, what’s the point in chatting?

I make dramatic cuts quickly, so if we match, talk to me, otherwise, we’re unmatched. And yes, I am trying to use snapchat as a screening process.

I really just need you to kill bugs for me.

Its an emergency; my vibrator is broken and I need help getting off asap.

Can we go to a bookstore and each find a book and then go somewhere and read them and cuddle and then talk about how we feel and how these stories relate or not to our own?

I need you to teach me how to play the B chord so that we can play songs like Blank Space together.

Saying things like this may lead to an unmatch;

What’s Logan Square?

I don’t go to the city often.

 

 

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REASONS TO BE SINGLE>

Number 1 and most important; you can plan a trip without worrying about if it works with anybody’s schedule except your own.

People don’t realize how great traveling solo is, and if you want to travel and don’t have anyone to go with – that’s ok! That’s great, actually! There’s no need to worry about if you’ll upset anyone with your adventures. You can be open to meeting other travellers and making friends; or be open to a weekend with a stranger in a new place if things do turn romantical! Or best yet, fall even more in love with yourself and the world around you as you discover new talents and hidden treasures.

Number 2; You can have a lot of different friends and different groups of people to hang out with without worrying if they’ll like your SO.

You can hang out with coworkers after work, meet up with friends in your neighbourhood, or in that one, and not worry about how or when you’ll meet up with your person or whether they’ll mind if you go out or not, or just hang out with your roommates and not be concerned about if there’ll be room on the couch for everyone. Or you can just hang out with no one and feel great about that.

Number 3; You get the bed all to yourself.

You can move around as much as you want, hog all the pillows and blankets, play on your phone, and not worry about disturbing anyone that may or may not be sleeping next to you. You can sleep in or go to bed late. You can fall asleep on the couch if you want. You can masterbate whenever you want, too. And your room can be a mess and you don’t have to give a damn.

Number 4; You can flirt with anyone and everyone and not worry about it upsetting your SO or feeling guilty about it.

You can start a chat with this guy, then walk away and start a new conversation with another. You can scope the crowd for hotties or flirt with your bartender. And if you are a bartender, you can flirt with any of your customers and feel good about it. You can dance with anyone on the dance floor. Or just be content dancing with your friends.

Number 5; You can eat and drink whatever you want without worrying about anyone else’s dietary restrictions or habits.

Eat with these friends here or there without thinking about if it makes anyone else happy besides you and your friends, or go out to eat solo wherever you want and treat yourself to a nice meal because you deserve it and you’re hot. Or go sit at the bar and have a drink by yourself because the bar keep is cool and he’ll take a shot with you if you need a partner.

Number 6; Be whatever you want on social media.

Follow whoever, flirt with whoever you want on snapchat, send silly/sexy selfies, sext whoever you want. Its fun, it’s stupid, and that’s okay, because that’s the world we live in.

Number 7; Be happy with your body because there’s no one to impress. Focus on being healthy.

Yes, maybe we want to work out harder to try to catch the eye of that someone, but whoever we end up with should be happy with our bodies exactly as we are happy with them. Be comfortable in your skin, regardless of your jean size. Your body is yours and just own it because its wonderful just as it is. Be healthy because life is great and you want to keep living it.

Number 8; Be on your own phone plan, pay your own bills, be financially responsible for yourself and feel good about it.

Too often, people get married for financial security and because of reasons involving money. Money should never be a reason to be with someone. Maybe it’s appealing to be with a guy that will completely pay for that next vacation, but you can travel on the cheap and may have a more fulfilling experience doing it on your own. When you decide to be with someone, and can share costs, that will be great, but there are many affordable ways to live and enjoy life without a ton of cash. Take turns with your friends buying each other dinner and feel good about each transaction. You worked for your money, you pay your bills, you can treat yourself and your friend.

Number 9; Dating can be really fun.

Go out to dinner, go to a movie, have interesting conversations, have sex. Find out what you like and don’t like, learn about people, learn about yourself. Yes, the world of dating is daunting and often obnoxious, but sometimes you find yourself in a really great conversation and suddenly having a really great night. You may never see that person again and that’s okay, but at least you’re putting yourself out there and engaging in the world around you.

Number 10; Plan your life for you. Dream big for yourself.

Think about going to school abroad, spend time working in another country, teaching in a place where you have to sign a two year contract; because why not? Why hold yourself back? Anything you want for your life, you can make happen. Finding a mate and having a family can happen and will happen when its supposed to happen, and there’s no reason to rush that. Live your life and love your life and be happy being single. Be excited for you life because anything can happen. If you do end up meeting someone that makes everything better, just because they’re around, then that’s fantastic. But there should not be the pressure to be with someone just to be with someone.